Short Thought: Sunrise

Today I was walking to school, that is from the parking lot to school, with my good friend Michaela. I was not in the best mood. Lately It seems as if I cannot reach even the tiniest of goals or qualify for the lowest of standards. These negative thoughts were exacerbated by the bitter cold that makes me want to display an ugly frown to show the world just how awful my life is. It was while I indulged in these selfish, false thoughts that michaela turned to me and said something like, "I like that, how the sun is peeking over the mountain." I looked up from my feet to the sky and saw just a bit of the sun making its way above the cold, snowy, Utah mountains. I got a little excited and said, "It's coming!" A building blocked our view, until, walking out of the darkness, we were hit with the brilliant light and warmth of the full sun reaching over the mountain. My amazement spiraled into bitterness as I said quite loudly, "hello friend, I haven't seen you in awhile!" to which Michaela quietly replied, "no, he was here yesterday..." I felt a bit ashamed. He was here yesterday and I have been acting as if the world has organized itself to get back at me, but really it was organized and created for me to see and experience the glory of God. Some things are only there when you take the time to look at them and allow them bless your life.

It seems that with all that is going on in life, the nightmares, the bad grades, the awful cold, the slow running, the dirty kitchens, the missed opportunities, that there is always happiness readily available if I allow myself to accept that I deserve to be happy. Missed opportunities will open doors for even better experiences, dirty kitchens will need to be cleaned, but sometimes others will clean them until they are shiny, someday I will be able to maintain and get even faster than a creeping 10 minute mile for my 10K if I just keep running, the winter will yield to spring and summer, grades...well grades I will just have to stop being so lazy and kick my rear into gear, and the nightmares...the nightmares I'm putting on an alter for the Lord to bless me with or take from me, there are some things that only patience and faith can resolve, and getting to the point where you are actually patient is a blessing all on its own. Although I seem to want to feel like I am alone, I am grateful for family, friends, and strangers who teach me everyday that I am loved no matter what I want to say to myself. Thank You Michaela for showing me the light when I was looking into the darkness. It was all I needed to believe, that is at least for today, that I can make it.